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Cross The Continuum
Series 1 Episode 1:Crossing the Continuum
Nick's life hadn't been that interesting throughout all his twenty-nine
years. But such was the life of many in modern-day London, or so Nick
told himself. Now, Nicholas Harris was not a lazy bloke, but rather
one that just couldn't be bothered. Indifferent was the word. That
morning he woke up at eight o'clock, just like every other day, and
got ready for work. Being a trolley attendant wasn't that exciting,
but that didn't bother him. As he opened his front door to leave,
there was a massive thunder followed by a streak of light across the sky. Not like lightning, but like like a falling star. "That's odd," thought Nick as he opened the door to his car. Mr. Godfree from next door rushed out of his house, still tying his robe.
"Oi!" he shouted at Nick, "You hear that just now? Fat lot a good that weatherman
is. Sunny, he said. SUNNY!"
"Yeah," Nick said, detached.
"Nick? Nicholas?" said Mr. Godfree, "Are you all right?"
"What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, sir. Just a little deja vu."
"Oh,aye, I could tell that."
As Mr. Godfree went back into his house Nick felt odd. Sick, sort of.
IN ANOTHER PLACE OF TIME AND SPACE
The STASD, which looked like a large dirigible, flew across the
Time/Space continuum with lightning speed! There were two men inside
the STASD operating it. The captain of the STASD was a man named
Andrew Toppdapple. He was tall and slender with long, black hair that
went to his shoulders and mutton chops that were always nicely
groomed. He wore a Victorian-era black suit, a white top hat with a
black band and white steampunk glasses with tinted lenses. The second
man was James Newton, he was shorter than Andrew but still tall all
the same. He wore an aviator cap but of what you could see of his
hair was brown. His fleece-lined jacket looked old, but only by a
couple of years. His brown, cotton pants were nicely ironed and
appeared to be almost new.
"Alright then, James." Andrew said, looking at some lines on piece of
paper that had just printed itself out, "Period's right, time to take her in."
"What's the name of the man were looking for, again?" James asked in an
American accent.
Andrew turned to face James with a smile.
"Nick, Nicholas Harris."
BACK IN LONDON
Nick was still a little thrown off by the odd happenings of that morning,
but he went to work anyway. He told himself that no matter how bad he
felt, he could still do his job. And so he did, he went to work, came
home, ate dinner and went to sleep.
Meanwhile back in the STASD, Andrew and James were landing there large zepplin
in the countryside.
James turned to face Andrew with a smile.
"Well, looks like smooth sailing eh, Andrew? And---rew?"
At that moment, while they were landing, a flock of geese had flown into the STASD.
"Oh, bugger!" exclaimed Andrew, "They've gone and mucked up the internal overflow drive engine."
"Andrew, I didn't invent the STASD, you did. What does that mean?"
"It means we can take off but not cross the continuum."
"Oh......SHOOT!"
Andrew took off his top hat and scratched his head.
"Okay, okay. You go look for Nick in London, I'll stay here and fix the
STASD."
"Sounds like a plan." James said as he took off his aviator cap and
set it down on the console. He then stepped out of the STASD. Looking
out into the night, James sighed loudly.
"Where are you, Nick?"
James saw that there was a bicycle next to a barn that was near where he
had parked the STASD. He took the bike and hopped on. As he started
peddling he looked back reproachfully as the STASD. This was the
first time that he had gone on a mission without Andrew right there,
guiding his steps. It gave James a sense of importance to think that
Andrew would trust him. A sense of importance, and a sense of fear. He
reached London in only about half an hour but getting there was the
easy part. Now he had to find Nicholas Harris. Confused in twenty-first century London, James looked around. Oh,
what have you gotten yourself into, James? It seems like only
yesterday you were an ace pilot in The Great War. Better than the Red
Baron, and twice as good-looking. But that all changed on December
First, 1916. I remember I had just landed my biplane on German soil.
It was damaged from a previous dogfight against a German. Now of
course I had taken him down but I had suffered some damage to the
tail of my plane. As I got out of my plane I heard a MASSIVE
thunderclap followed by a bright streak across the sky. Naturally I
assumed it was a new fighter plane, coming to get me, so I ran. I ran
for about a mile when suddenly I was thrown back! A very large
zepplin appeared as if from nowhere! I looked with wonder at it as a
door opened. A man stepped out wearing old-fashioned clothes and
strange-looking glasses.
"James Newton?" he said, "come with me."
I was, of course, apprehensive, but the man spoke with an English accent
so I assumed it was a rescue operation. I smiled and climbed onboard.
Little did I know this would be the last time I saw the year 1916.
END EPISODE 1
Series 1 Episode 1:Crossing the Continuum
Nick's life hadn't been that interesting throughout all his twenty-nine
years. But such was the life of many in modern-day London, or so Nick
told himself. Now, Nicholas Harris was not a lazy bloke, but rather
one that just couldn't be bothered. Indifferent was the word. That
morning he woke up at eight o'clock, just like every other day, and
got ready for work. Being a trolley attendant wasn't that exciting,
but that didn't bother him. As he opened his front door to leave,
there was a massive thunder followed by a streak of light across the sky. Not like lightning, but like like a falling star. "That's odd," thought Nick as he opened the door to his car. Mr. Godfree from next door rushed out of his house, still tying his robe.
"Oi!" he shouted at Nick, "You hear that just now? Fat lot a good that weatherman
is. Sunny, he said. SUNNY!"
"Yeah," Nick said, detached.
"Nick? Nicholas?" said Mr. Godfree, "Are you all right?"
"What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, sir. Just a little deja vu."
"Oh,aye, I could tell that."
As Mr. Godfree went back into his house Nick felt odd. Sick, sort of.
IN ANOTHER PLACE OF TIME AND SPACE
The STASD, which looked like a large dirigible, flew across the
Time/Space continuum with lightning speed! There were two men inside
the STASD operating it. The captain of the STASD was a man named
Andrew Toppdapple. He was tall and slender with long, black hair that
went to his shoulders and mutton chops that were always nicely
groomed. He wore a Victorian-era black suit, a white top hat with a
black band and white steampunk glasses with tinted lenses. The second
man was James Newton, he was shorter than Andrew but still tall all
the same. He wore an aviator cap but of what you could see of his
hair was brown. His fleece-lined jacket looked old, but only by a
couple of years. His brown, cotton pants were nicely ironed and
appeared to be almost new.
"Alright then, James." Andrew said, looking at some lines on piece of
paper that had just printed itself out, "Period's right, time to take her in."
"What's the name of the man were looking for, again?" James asked in an
American accent.
Andrew turned to face James with a smile.
"Nick, Nicholas Harris."
BACK IN LONDON
Nick was still a little thrown off by the odd happenings of that morning,
but he went to work anyway. He told himself that no matter how bad he
felt, he could still do his job. And so he did, he went to work, came
home, ate dinner and went to sleep.
Meanwhile back in the STASD, Andrew and James were landing there large zepplin
in the countryside.
James turned to face Andrew with a smile.
"Well, looks like smooth sailing eh, Andrew? And---rew?"
At that moment, while they were landing, a flock of geese had flown into the STASD.
"Oh, bugger!" exclaimed Andrew, "They've gone and mucked up the internal overflow drive engine."
"Andrew, I didn't invent the STASD, you did. What does that mean?"
"It means we can take off but not cross the continuum."
"Oh......SHOOT!"
Andrew took off his top hat and scratched his head.
"Okay, okay. You go look for Nick in London, I'll stay here and fix the
STASD."
"Sounds like a plan." James said as he took off his aviator cap and
set it down on the console. He then stepped out of the STASD. Looking
out into the night, James sighed loudly.
"Where are you, Nick?"
James saw that there was a bicycle next to a barn that was near where he
had parked the STASD. He took the bike and hopped on. As he started
peddling he looked back reproachfully as the STASD. This was the
first time that he had gone on a mission without Andrew right there,
guiding his steps. It gave James a sense of importance to think that
Andrew would trust him. A sense of importance, and a sense of fear. He
reached London in only about half an hour but getting there was the
easy part. Now he had to find Nicholas Harris. Confused in twenty-first century London, James looked around. Oh,
what have you gotten yourself into, James? It seems like only
yesterday you were an ace pilot in The Great War. Better than the Red
Baron, and twice as good-looking. But that all changed on December
First, 1916. I remember I had just landed my biplane on German soil.
It was damaged from a previous dogfight against a German. Now of
course I had taken him down but I had suffered some damage to the
tail of my plane. As I got out of my plane I heard a MASSIVE
thunderclap followed by a bright streak across the sky. Naturally I
assumed it was a new fighter plane, coming to get me, so I ran. I ran
for about a mile when suddenly I was thrown back! A very large
zepplin appeared as if from nowhere! I looked with wonder at it as a
door opened. A man stepped out wearing old-fashioned clothes and
strange-looking glasses.
"James Newton?" he said, "come with me."
I was, of course, apprehensive, but the man spoke with an English accent
so I assumed it was a rescue operation. I smiled and climbed onboard.
Little did I know this would be the last time I saw the year 1916.
END EPISODE 1
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This is my first literature submission, so tell me what ya think. If at least two people like this I'll write the other episodes.
© 2008 - 2024 Im-a-Bear-yo
Comments6
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I agree with Dr. Sleepless. The concept is there but the talent is hiding. I can see you can write but this needs some editing.
I wont do an in depth analysis because Sleepless I feel will be doing that but... 1) try not to repeat words close together... like "I remember I had just landed my biplane on German soil. It was damaged from a previous dogfight against a German."... it stutters the rhythm as you read. Try using Germany or a simile of how he sees Germany - The Enemy Country (but better lol)
2) You hit us straight with the action. This is needed in books however you do it in such a way the basckground of Nick is lost. He seems super indifferent but only because you tell us that directly. A tip in writing is that if your having to tell us exactly how a character is then your on the wrong tracks. Your writing should tell us how he is from what he does. Sighs, lonely glances... this builds a character... straight off adjectives in a long line like he is tall e.t.c makes for a read where the reader has to do very little
3) A Victorian era man would not describe his own attire as Victorian. Do some background research into the dresscode of your characters. Steampunk Goggles tells me little... what sort of googles... do they suit him?
Work with that then repost this episode... then Ill help out again. Sorry if this sounds daunting but in some ways it should. Writing takes alot of effort... remember your writing for the reader as well as yourself. If the reader isnt enthralled its not right... regardless of how u feel. Sometimes you have to be super self critical.
I wont do an in depth analysis because Sleepless I feel will be doing that but... 1) try not to repeat words close together... like "I remember I had just landed my biplane on German soil. It was damaged from a previous dogfight against a German."... it stutters the rhythm as you read. Try using Germany or a simile of how he sees Germany - The Enemy Country (but better lol)
2) You hit us straight with the action. This is needed in books however you do it in such a way the basckground of Nick is lost. He seems super indifferent but only because you tell us that directly. A tip in writing is that if your having to tell us exactly how a character is then your on the wrong tracks. Your writing should tell us how he is from what he does. Sighs, lonely glances... this builds a character... straight off adjectives in a long line like he is tall e.t.c makes for a read where the reader has to do very little
3) A Victorian era man would not describe his own attire as Victorian. Do some background research into the dresscode of your characters. Steampunk Goggles tells me little... what sort of googles... do they suit him?
Work with that then repost this episode... then Ill help out again. Sorry if this sounds daunting but in some ways it should. Writing takes alot of effort... remember your writing for the reader as well as yourself. If the reader isnt enthralled its not right... regardless of how u feel. Sometimes you have to be super self critical.